Just done with sahur. So I had rice, without veggie.. Which I feel like wish I did.. Well, with chicken merah (red), and dessert called, I don’t know exactly but it tastes like kuih seri muka, yet it looks like kuih talam. I love traditional desserts, so many of it, specially in Ramadan. Just limited for this year also, as we living in new norm. I just.. Ugh. Hope all this pandemic things, go away fast. And of course, energy drink, Milo. And lastly, a glass of water.
So, last year’s Ramadan, a week plus few days, before Eid Day. I ended up sleeping and woke up late. No cooking for the last week of the Ramadan. Which I wondered why, at the time. And here again, I started to noticed the same thing. Quite worry, to say that I started to feel like it. While knowing that I, had meal for berbuka (break fast), and sahur, kinda well – which includes carbs, protein, vitamin, and sugar. Maybe too much of dessert because, well, I love it haha. But it’s strange that I started to feel un-energetic. Which thing that I so worry since, because I’ll fall asleep and ended up late, and no cooking.. I don’t like it..
So far, I control whatever I have to. My diet specially. But sleep hmm.. I think it’s the cause?. To my un-energetic phase?. It’s like graft chart – from top, to drop.. Like, what’s going on to be exact.. But I hope it’s just a normal phase. As there’s short documentary explain about this kind of conditions, happen in Ramadan.
So yea. I think and hopefully, it’s just a phase. And I hope, after this, I can get back to my gardening, which I can’t wait to play with soil, and make my front house full with pots and greensss.
Yesterday’s just I consider myself really sleepy. Even I had a nap, it was totally not a good one. Should I be worried?
So I had rice, a small portion of mackerel, and lettuce salad leaves, so far two leaves only. A mug of Milo, a kuih pelita (Malay traditional dessert), and last one, a glass of water. But additional half a glass, after that. And forgot to have a slice of wholemeal bread with peanut butter and jam or strawberry jam, so I would be feeling full, through out the day of fasting.. And I totally forgot..
My sleep schedule just a mess, even before this year’s Ramadan.
And last night, at midnight, I was totally sleepy. The thing is, the sleepiness, how I can describe it as – partial sleepy, between wanting to stay awake, but don’t want to be both either conditions. Kind of worry, as sleep is a need and play role in our lives as human. I don’t know what the cause, I wonder sometimes. But at the same time, thinking about it can lead to some other wondering. If you get what I mean.
So, usually, I just go with how my body feel. Yea, there was time, being like this and suddenly, just like snap – sleepiness kicked in, I was so sleepy, I just wanted to sleep. It’s like, our body can fix, alter some of stuff or what our body needs to be able to make a move when we up in the morning. Crazy if to think, right?. Like white blood cells trying to fight some bacteria or virus, if it get in to our body. Amazing.
Well, guess I should. So yea, a nap. Thinking about what to cook, every day.. My brain need a rest too, right. So give ourselves a time to relax, chill, rest, lazy, once awhile.
Maybe it’s just like a medicine to some we want to fix, a little bit. Like sleep schedule.
Just done watch series on Netflix, of course, for now. Still continue the series.
Can say it’s very foggy, misty today. I decided to take a nap in living room, near my work desk. Since it’s monsoon season, my state experience thunder and heavy rain. Hardly to see blue sky, for awhile and missing it, actually.
Maybe for now, this section will be what I’ll be doing. And sahur thing, thought, like that.. Not bad for me. I hope anyone who read, enjoy it.
As photo above, my sahur. Just same one from our break fast, early yesterday’s night. It’s tomato rice, Ayamas chicken, and lettuce salad leaves. Had donut, Milo, and last one – a glass of water.
Watch Netflix series and, thinking about my sleep schedule, which I feel like, seriously not good.. I didn’t feel really sleepy like I used to. I feel like I need that sleepy, so I can just sleep, right after lay on bed, like some people who born just like that – sleep. Lucky them.
Thinking also about my gardening routine. As I can’t keep up with it, for now. As I have my nap after dawn. While in the after noon, thunder and rain cloud already above. Lightning appear and sound loud, scared me. Even on other time, if there’s thunder and lightning, I wouldn’t go outside. If I’m gardening at the time, I’ll just have to stop. Raining season and energy, uhm hehh kind of drop.. So, just don’t force ourselves, right?. Maybe after Ramadan, I’ll get back to it. Really hope that.
As for today, I think I’ll cook something. Additional menu, I have just to wait. It’s pass dawn already, sunlight appear and mist slowly gone.. And, now, just a nap.
Guess I keep blogging, as I think for this year Ramadan.. Energy not really cooperate.
I had two wholemeal bread, eggs, and tuna mayonnaise mixed, and cabbage leaves. It’s last part of round cabbage by the way.
Just nothing much, until I get what I can put on my blog, like topic or something, this section only I guess. I have actually.. Just.. Time. Because mostly I just feel like chilling, lately, specially after cooking.
Today maybe the day, since I no need to cook. Parents will be at meeting, check out my siblings, and just waiting for foods, for break our fast. We need that kind of day, right?. Lazy day, they called it. I need it too, I think. Just for today, and just at night, I’ll cook for sahur. Usually, just simple menu. Target for energy, eggs and rice for others, for me, like the photo.
“Lazy day”. I read about it back then. And truth is, it’s reduce stress, hormones that not good for us, if we let ourselves being in it. I did talk about this with my parents, siblings sometimes. It’s a need, a must, once awhile, to remove unwanted ones in our body, which can effect us. There’s movies that picturing this one matter, will put my thoughts in the future.
So, I think, just today. But of course, everything else, need to get it done. Which any of it. If I feel not doing it, I just keep it at one point, continue doing it the next day. It’s never ending things, isn’t it?.
So, yea.. I hope you guys who read this, please do the same, if you feel so. If it’s just not you, it’s alright too.
Just done with sahur, and I make sure last one is a glass of water.
My sahur for today (day as sky still dark..?)
I had the same food for sahur today, just like for break our fast, of course for family members too.
Mine with Milo, and wholemeal bread, with two kinds of jams, half of the bread, thin. That’s how I have my bread nowadays. It’s been a long time now, I keep my meal plates, for every day. But a bit different than usual, as on Ramadan, even my schedule just.. Broken.. That’s the word I could described.
Fasting in Ramadan is more than just physical, it’s for whole of us as human. So sahur, it’s for energy, through out the day. I found out with two slice of bread, adding eggs, salad leaves or whatever, feel less hungry, than having rice. For me, so far. But both good. Strength, I saw many fitness coaches said that, level of strength drop, but depending on a person too. With what a person has for break fast and sahur. Because, truths is, many do stuff like gardening, landscaping, and exercise an hour before break their fast.
As for me, my schedule, my energy, everything, like scattered (haha). Cooking, artwork, pets, and some day personal stuff to handle, can just mess. People forget that sleep is a need, that’s people’s problem..
So far, schedule just okay. There’s day I can focus on my artwork and chilling, watch Netflix. There’s day not even I sit, doing my artworks. And back again on blog?. I hope I can keep up, no more long time break like, last time…?. I don’t like it either, but, I’ve been dealing with things.. So, yea. Oh, gardening things will be back after Ramadan, I hope. Can’t catch up with it, so, let go right.. Hopefully, after this.
I feel like to continue about yesterday’s, regarding life – point or moment that change us in life, in every aspect.
Can’t remember when I took the photo above, maybe early this year?
I, express a bit of what I’ve dealt with on my IG story. More than any other social medias of mine, because I feel not too expose. As we know, these days, we, people express or vent by writing or post online, but many still prefer to share with whom they trust.. But, not always there’s people who want to lend their ear and shoulders. And it’s.. The sad thing.. Specially, to people that go through so much, ones that gives all of them..
But, people said “it’s what life is all about”.. Life. What we want in our lives?. To be exact, I don’t think people these days really know, of course including myself. As anyone else, I have my struggle, just.. Hardly now I want to share.. See how we human have become.. So, with social media, it’s like additional field nowadays. Like, business – so many fields and branches. In one field, it has so many sub-field, just, many.
Career path, they say. As an artist.. Of course I love it. At the same time, I’m not at all..
It’s what we have learned and to know, what we want to be, since school. To continue study, get certificate, and build career?. Finished school and business?. Or just do whatever that can make money, like non stop..?. Little that we know, as time goes, things change a lot. And more and more, number of people stress and pressure, anxiety and depression hits hard since last century.. Just to make money.
Money – one of need, we can’t deny that. I can’t deny that. With money than we can have food. But, it’s more than just to have money to buy, pay, and sell. Any, to be clear. Shelter, clothes, medical supplies, to go to school, and even, to make business as to make money, by doing what we love as a career or business, still need – money. It’s the reality of life, now. Actually, for a long time ago. We know that, right.. But, because of this, sometimes and some people started to feel like “what I want in life?”. With struggle come and go, ups and downs, fall and get back up, truths is, it’s open our eyes.
“What I want in life?” – a question that at least once in our lives time, we will ask to ourselves. It’s become our step to ourselves on what we want to do.. I think, I could say. So.. After sometimes, since pandemic started last year.. Well.. I realize, on this matter.
What I learned, since grew up, and grow old, doing what I do now, love it, paper to paper to another.. But with what happened right now, it’s tough.. The art scene itself effected really bad, not only the artists, but all that involves.
It’s give me the effects too. But I know that, there’s nothing much I can do. I only can just do my artworks. But what I want at the same time?.
“Don’t want any stress or pressure. Just do my artworks. No more chasing submission. Enjoy the process, let go if can’t catch up. If not feeling it, leave. Watch Netflix, drama, movies. Do gardening, play with soil. Cooking time, enjoy the moment. Smell and have a taste. Have a mug of Milo. Eat well but have some donuts or pizza. Just, being at home and do my things..”
I have no judgment on women that want to become full time housewife, it’s a good thing, since house chores is a never ending things in our lives to deal with. Of course, it’s not a gender role thing, men in this too, together. But just talking about “women that choose to be”. Respect for those choose it. If a woman or person want to, I think no need to tell them to go out to make money, unless they want to do so. And also if it’s other way around. Both good and have reasons why. We don’t know their situation at the end..
But, as an artist, I just wanted to do show. If I’m feeling stuck between the process and love it at the same time, I’ll go outside, gardening, or bake some biscuits or cake.. A simple life, they said?
It’s not bad, isn’t it..?
This is just mine, totally. Please do respect if you know whoever that choose a different kind of vibes in life, simple or whatever. It’s a choice of a person who deal with something we don’t know somehow.. I hope, things gonna be alright. With what I’m currently working on..
I’ve been going through some kind of phase, which I feel and don’t know, at the same time – is it a phase as human, and each of individuals in this world will go through?
It’s, really tough to even write.
Moreover, when it comes to personally private (which I called, where involved other people or family). I’ve said it before, I wouldn’t go with details of details about things that I will post or write. I believe many and every one will go through in life..
Every one has their own struggle. A point where, things happen, and will open up views, of every day thought and opinions to be different than what self agree. View in every aspect of life, daily basis, work and job, to basic needs of human and relationships. Not only on self, but towards other people that close and around a person’s. Not only at home, but in a work place to where we hangout with family and friends..
So, what’s your moment, things that happened, where you think and consider it as a.. Turning point in life?
I’ll continue on this about later on. Since it’s Ramadan, I need a nap. Since it’s already after dawn..
Some Other Things 