Some Thoughts: Thoughts 2

I feel like to continue about yesterday’s, regarding life – point or moment that change us in life, in every aspect.

Can’t remember when I took the photo above, maybe early this year?

I, express a bit of what I’ve dealt with on my IG story. More than any other social medias of mine, because I feel not too expose. As we know, these days, we, people express or vent by writing or post online, but many still prefer to share with whom they trust.. But, not always there’s people who want to lend their ear and shoulders. And it’s.. The sad thing.. Specially, to people that go through so much, ones that gives all of them..

But, people said “it’s what life is all about”.. Life. What we want in our lives?. To be exact, I don’t think people these days really know, of course including myself. As anyone else, I have my struggle, just.. Hardly now I want to share.. See how we human have become.. So, with social media, it’s like additional field nowadays. Like, business – so many fields and branches. In one field, it has so many sub-field, just, many.

Career path, they say. As an artist.. Of course I love it. At the same time, I’m not at all..

It’s what we have learned and to know, what we want to be, since school. To continue study, get certificate, and build career?. Finished school and business?. Or just do whatever that can make money, like non stop..?. Little that we know, as time goes, things change a lot. And more and more, number of people stress and pressure, anxiety and depression hits hard since last century.. Just to make money.

Money – one of need, we can’t deny that. I can’t deny that. With money than we can have food. But, it’s more than just to have money to buy, pay, and sell. Any, to be clear. Shelter, clothes, medical supplies, to go to school, and even, to make business as to make money, by doing what we love as a career or business, still need – money. It’s the reality of life, now. Actually, for a long time ago. We know that, right.. But, because of this, sometimes and some people started to feel like “what I want in life?”. With struggle come and go, ups and downs, fall and get back up, truths is, it’s open our eyes.

“What I want in life?” – a question that at least once in our lives time, we will ask to ourselves. It’s become our step to ourselves on what we want to do.. I think, I could say. So.. After sometimes, since pandemic started last year.. Well.. I realize, on this matter.

What I learned, since grew up, and grow old, doing what I do now, love it, paper to paper to another.. But with what happened right now, it’s tough.. The art scene itself effected really bad, not only the artists, but all that involves.

It’s give me the effects too. But I know that, there’s nothing much I can do. I only can just do my artworks. But what I want at the same time?.

“Don’t want any stress or pressure. Just do my artworks. No more chasing submission. Enjoy the process, let go if can’t catch up. If not feeling it, leave. Watch Netflix, drama, movies. Do gardening, play with soil. Cooking time, enjoy the moment. Smell and have a taste. Have a mug of Milo. Eat well but have some donuts or pizza. Just, being at home and do my things..”

I have no judgment on women that want to become full time housewife, it’s a good thing, since house chores is a never ending things in our lives to deal with. Of course, it’s not a gender role thing, men in this too, together. But just talking about “women that choose to be”. Respect for those choose it. If a woman or person want to, I think no need to tell them to go out to make money, unless they want to do so. And also if it’s other way around. Both good and have reasons why. We don’t know their situation at the end..

But, as an artist, I just wanted to do show. If I’m feeling stuck between the process and love it at the same time, I’ll go outside, gardening, or bake some biscuits or cake.. A simple life, they said?

It’s not bad, isn’t it..?

This is just mine, totally. Please do respect if you know whoever that choose a different kind of vibes in life, simple or whatever. It’s a choice of a person who deal with something we don’t know somehow.. I hope, things gonna be alright. With what I’m currently working on..

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