Some Thoughts: Letting Go

For some reasons I just feel like to blog out, write out, put out, name it, that’s what I feel like right now.

It’s just hard whenever there’s thing we couldn’t stop thinking or we just keep thinking about it.

Sensitive or easily effected by some sort of opinion although we disagree, or anything else, like example, how we handle stuff in the kitchen just the way we want it rather than other’s way of handling, it’s hard to over it if it constantly in mind. It’s not healthy.

When come to this topic, someone ever told me, the only way is to – let go.

And to each one of us, different effect different ways of overcoming it. Because whatever we go through, struggling in our life, each one of us have different events, moments, or past. It’s something we can’t tell people easily too, “just let it go”, no it’s not. But in my case, that someone told me with feeling of support for me at the time. And because of that, I hold on to those words and advice until now, and I guess forever..

It’s hard for me still, to put the word. But by now you read this, you will know what I’m saying.

I’ve been dealing it by myself. Only open details to people I comfortable the most. I hardly put or write out about anything that I consider personally private. Even my personal ones, I hardly put out. But in this matter, or anything of my personal experience, or things, I can now, but I only put out a tip of mine. And to do this even tough for me.. But I try, every day. As someone I met last year, telling me there’s nothing wrong to talk about personal things to people, by right no mention and detail of the person.. And as I learned, it’s true that everybody does.

And so I learned to let go. Actually even from someone who told me to do so, to let go.. A friend of mine. Who already passed but forever I hold on to the words I’ve been told by..

And recently, I started told myself, if I feel no good for my health from some people, specially for mental and emotional health.. I think and decide what’s best for myself, I’ll set boundaries. To anyone. Just any.

As realised, I did, to some people already. Where if I hold on to what’s my boundaries is, and if it’s been crossed over, I may not have interactions with them. And I feel like, can say I feel better. Although I still will have very very few little responses towards them, I just decided not to take the conversation or the answer to the extent. And I found out, that’s how I deal with these all and how I do, one step to let go, so the matter or a matter won’t play in mind for a long time.

I found out so many people did write and share in here too, about this thing, this matter. Still hard for me, but I just hope people who read, know that you’re not going through it alone. And can open up to one you feel comfortable the most. Or, if you want to share, I think it can be an awareness too, for others to know and learn about it.

And yes…. I think I do put or write out, or do my scrapbook, and focus on my artwork, or even do my gardening, it’s what I do to get to letting go process, and as I said mine, where I set boundaries with people around me. And I found out it’s work for me so far, not easy but it work. And yea… Remind myself that I can’t control everything.

So….. I hope to anyone who have tough times with letting go things like that, you can do it.

Stay strong, stay safe. You’re doing good..!

Gardening: New Kangkung Planting

It’s been awhile..!

I hope everyone is doing well.

As so, can say that a lot has happened. I mean it like really. As last week my/our home area, where we live are hit by flood. And as so far, most who live in the area are still have to deal with the results such as cleaning up what they can save. Aids from NGOs and government still coming to our area, in and out. Alhamdulillah me and family are okay… I will continue on new post, if I feel like it.

So… Things are slowly back to how it is, as for me and family. As for myself, I managed to plant new kangkung. Here’s quick one, photos.

The day before, I had to make few holes on this bin. Because before I had this bin ready, I didn’t make it.. How stupid to think back. But I learn, and of course we all do..

I plant using kangkung that I bought from market, as they’re come with roots, this what I usually do. Kangkung, as in English Water Spinach is easy one, to me at least, because if you do with this method, just make sure to save it in a cup or whatever (if it’s late to plant it or gardening), so it won’t quickly softening to become rot. You can feel the steam become hard as for crunchy, slowly as time passes. This is just from my observations of course.

So I’m waiting for how things with it. For something else, I just took some photos around.

Just had my time walk around. Since I plan on set up an area for my small garden, which near our house.

Photos I took, my baby Spinach, need to replant them all soon. Small red butterfly on our wildly grow Kaduk plant, people in here have it as ulam. Our Ms. Kembang just came across to eat whatever she knows what. Our 2 in 1 citrus family tree, one root but two different trees, one are, we called limau kasturi or lime, kind of lime, another one are lemon, you can see the yellow colour? Yes, that already ripe actually I should pick it soon. Last one, my boots, myself, standing in front of wild flowers. I did wrote about it in my previous post.

So.. That’s all. I slowly get back to my routine, which is a bit hard, as I went through personal matter, which well.. Still do.. I will write about it and the impact that whole of it, the results of it.. This year is the toughest one, personally for me, I think.. (?)

Okay. So I take it slowly, getting back to what I usually do and feel. I hope you all too.

Stay safe everyone..!

Movie: Little Forest – Summer/Autumn and Winter/Spring

September here already, and I missed to blog out.

I take this opportunity to set my first post on movie!. I love movies. And this one just how I feel now and consider almost how I feel these days.

I love this movie.

That’s it. I love it. I can’t really remember when I first watch it, but I just love it.

To start, this is not review or critics. It’s just opinion, personally at the end of the day. As a consumer and a fans of film and drama.

As the title, it’s Japanese movies. I recall, and not expect at all that I will love both of the movie titles. The focus of course, is surrounded by the main character. As she lives and do her daily basis, routine in her small hometown. She creates foods, using almost all around her area’s ground and natural sources for survival.

In these movies, each season set from first dish to seven. Of course, selected dish to be on point. Showing also, her daily life to live, by farming and gardening. Harvest whatever that she plant or found in forest nearby. Also insert point, such as how she will dry up source for foods in hard time such as in the winter months, which plants and source that suitable in a cook (like frying or boiling and such), and her relationship, friendship with her suddenly-away mother..

To highlight, how every dish is being shown to prepare, clean, and cook, and serve. Even I myself feel like “okay, I’m going to cook that food”!

Another reason, I love these movies, of course because it’s personal relatedness in my life, as in daily basis, that I have to do or deal.

As you can see, my post on gardening and cooking. Which I still uhh.. Need to keep up to blog.. Lately I’ve been busy!. But I’ll try. So….. It’s related to my reality and how enjoy I am when I watched these movies.

The vibes. I think the vibes also, give me the feeling to be out and surround myself with greens and soil. It gives the feeling of the smell of nature, with the choice of music, songs for these movies. And most of it, it projecting the energy – the energy to me, for me to get on my gear, to do physical activity, to be at the moment of doing the physical work and enjoy the process.

Overall, these movies tell that, if you love your idea of what life is about, go for it. Even if to some feel like it’s going to be a bit hard or not fancy as live in big city, it’s alright – it’s back to you, how you feel like the most, and what life is all about, to you, at the end, just go for it….(?)

I recommend these, to whoever out there, if you love gardening, landscaping, and cooking, these two movies is so good.

Alright. I’ll try to keep up with my cooking section, soon. It might be simple since I missed many of my cooking…!

Some Thoughts: Life Phase?

It’s been awhile.

I did some changes on this section, “Some Talk” to “Some Thoughts”, because I’m not talking but just writing.. So, yeah.

Still ongoing MCO. The thing is, done my first vaccine alhamdulillah..!. Please do get yours, don’t wait.

Lately.. There’s something about, I’ve been thinking or wondering. As some of my posts about – a turning point in our lives. This time something that, kind of play role in life itself. As we human, not only enjoy our time, doing something we love only, there’s something that along with all we doing, I think.

This is my bitter gourd plants that grows healthy, so far..! Hope they all grow out well soon.

As I’ve been working on my veggies, gardening, and clean up my sisters’ room, sometimes some thing like, bang up time to time in my mind. It’s not my thing to talk about or even mention in conversation, usually, but, it’s just like wondering..?. I mean – love.

Here are just my personal opinion or view. I say it as in generally, to me.

But, as human, we have feelings. And so it’s effects our physical, emotions, and soul. The thing is, I just like, I don’t know what to say or comments when come to the topic. Say, some people can straight forward saying how much they want to be married and have family. Or, what kind of date night they would want to set. Many other things, in this one particular life phase, I called it?.

But it becomes one of that I can’t really say like many others do. Reason is, I think, because how many stories about it are just.. Sadden me up..?.

Somehow somewhat, it’s give me some kind of dilemma. Caught in between?. I believe some people do feel like it. I think it’s because how some stories being share or news that we hear, watch, or read, or know, involved two people, in love, but the relationship – somehow, not working, abuse involved, and many more, that I can’t even write in here.. It’s just sad, because we know that love is something beautiful – at least what we’ve been told.

Love – one thing that I think, it’s a feeling that stands of from many feelings and emotions. Like, crying. Could it be a joyful one, or hurtful one. It’s a feeling that involves intimacy, conquering physical, emotional, and mental and soul. So.. It’s supposed to be all in are beautiful, isn’t it?.

And if it’s beautifully all ways, surround us, it’s must be something that not pressuring or stressing, aren’t it?. I think, it’s human that cause it’s a hurt and broken matter or topic these days. And because of this, I just don’t know what to say or comments.. But some will say, happen to them. Well.. I could say, to some people, they have one in this world. And to some others, they may not meant to.. And this is just so, so hurt to me to know.. Because, somehow somewhat, it’s most people that full with love, effort, care, and such, that not get what they deserve.. In this time of era. Like, seriously..

This is a topic. And it’s totally different in every each one of us, so, I can’t say much. Just I don’t know when come to this matter, and “I don’t know” or “entah lah” in my language is usually added in my answer at the end, when relatives open talk. I say my opinion then I don’t know. Just that, it’s unclear, I guess. With how human these days?. Yea, love is fading.

Some Thoughts: Half Year MCO

It’s been awhile, but I think it’s alright.. Try to keep up again, and again.. That’s me I guess..?

How about you out there?

Here again, as I just sat on wooden chair, outside of our home, with my little sister’s cat, Sepet. The air was just nice, cool, and of course it is as I shot this about less than 10 minutes before 7pm.. My country time.

Nothing much I do. I just sat and patted Sepet, while chill out, look at the sky.. Few days ago there was rain, non stop, and two days already no rain and sunny day, hot, you can even hang some clothes and it will dry and crisp.. I like the smell somehow..

Like early this year, and now passed half year, my country still on MCO – Movement Control Order. As we know, pandemic still happening and sad to know that 6 days before Tokyo Olympic 2020 start, we got the news at the Olympic Village.. I really hope to watch it when it starts soon, of course to watch my athletes from my country to go one on one, at least there’s something we can do while facing MCO and pandemic and all.. Not feeling so off at home and reality.

But, although it’s half year already, I still dealing with personal matter, privately personal matter, which I like to call and totally no details or what’s so.. I dealt once, early this year. But I don’t know why or what, but I started to wonder again – are we really like, can feel like we’re in change to the next phase of life?. Like from baby, to adolescent, to adult, but that’s physical. I mean in spirituality or something like we’re getting old or something like, has to do with our soul..?. Like, from party and carefree and without realize, slowly we like change – like we’re not like who we used to be, like a year ago?.

I think, and believe that many of us do feel it. I don’t know personally, but I just wonder, maybe it is?.

Yet.. Somehow somewhat, some people have or get the best way of life, in their lives.. Some didn’t, or people said “not your time yet”. Which I just don’t know about it, or what to say.. Because some people, did everything as best as they could ever give. Yet.. It’s like, they hurt in same thing, same way, just from different people in their lives or matter, specifically I mean.. It’s really something that, they wish they could erase or not go through it.. Life, it’s weird.

Well, I guess.. That’s what life is?

Even in this pandemic, we see lots of things – from politic, to economy, to society help each other, some part protest, some fight, weather it’s for good reason, it happens when there’s bad….?.

Like, the Moon even shine in dark, with stars around. Like sunlight after rainstorm, there’s rainbow.. Life, ups and downs, what goes around, come around.. We human, and life itself, has a phase, I think..?.

Crazy, isn’t it…..?

Well, see if you can spot the Moon at early twilight from my photos. Stay safe people.