Some Thoughts: Chilling Day

Guess I keep blogging, as I think for this year Ramadan.. Energy not really cooperate.

I had two wholemeal bread, eggs, and tuna mayonnaise mixed, and cabbage leaves. It’s last part of round cabbage by the way.

Just nothing much, until I get what I can put on my blog, like topic or something, this section only I guess. I have actually.. Just.. Time. Because mostly I just feel like chilling, lately, specially after cooking.

Today maybe the day, since I no need to cook. Parents will be at meeting, check out my siblings, and just waiting for foods, for break our fast. We need that kind of day, right?. Lazy day, they called it. I need it too, I think. Just for today, and just at night, I’ll cook for sahur. Usually, just simple menu. Target for energy, eggs and rice for others, for me, like the photo.

“Lazy day”. I read about it back then. And truth is, it’s reduce stress, hormones that not good for us, if we let ourselves being in it. I did talk about this with my parents, siblings sometimes. It’s a need, a must, once awhile, to remove unwanted ones in our body, which can effect us. There’s movies that picturing this one matter, will put my thoughts in the future.

So, I think, just today. But of course, everything else, need to get it done. Which any of it. If I feel not doing it, I just keep it at one point, continue doing it the next day. It’s never ending things, isn’t it?.

So, yea.. I hope you guys who read this, please do the same, if you feel so. If it’s just not you, it’s alright too.

Some Thoughts: Schedule On Ramadan

Just done with sahur, and I make sure last one is a glass of water.

I had the same food for sahur today, just like for break our fast, of course for family members too.

Mine with Milo, and wholemeal bread, with two kinds of jams, half of the bread, thin. That’s how I have my bread nowadays. It’s been a long time now, I keep my meal plates, for every day. But a bit different than usual, as on Ramadan, even my schedule just.. Broken.. That’s the word I could described.

Fasting in Ramadan is more than just physical, it’s for whole of us as human. So sahur, it’s for energy, through out the day. I found out with two slice of bread, adding eggs, salad leaves or whatever, feel less hungry, than having rice. For me, so far. But both good. Strength, I saw many fitness coaches said that, level of strength drop, but depending on a person too. With what a person has for break fast and sahur. Because, truths is, many do stuff like gardening, landscaping, and exercise an hour before break their fast.

As for me, my schedule, my energy, everything, like scattered (haha). Cooking, artwork, pets, and some day personal stuff to handle, can just mess. People forget that sleep is a need, that’s people’s problem..

So far, schedule just okay. There’s day I can focus on my artwork and chilling, watch Netflix. There’s day not even I sit, doing my artworks. And back again on blog?. I hope I can keep up, no more long time break like, last time…?. I don’t like it either, but, I’ve been dealing with things.. So, yea. Oh, gardening things will be back after Ramadan, I hope. Can’t catch up with it, so, let go right.. Hopefully, after this.

Okay. A nap after dawn. That’s the schedule.

Some Thoughts: Thoughts 2

I feel like to continue about yesterday’s, regarding life – point or moment that change us in life, in every aspect.

Can’t remember when I took the photo above, maybe early this year?

I, express a bit of what I’ve dealt with on my IG story. More than any other social medias of mine, because I feel not too expose. As we know, these days, we, people express or vent by writing or post online, but many still prefer to share with whom they trust.. But, not always there’s people who want to lend their ear and shoulders. And it’s.. The sad thing.. Specially, to people that go through so much, ones that gives all of them..

But, people said “it’s what life is all about”.. Life. What we want in our lives?. To be exact, I don’t think people these days really know, of course including myself. As anyone else, I have my struggle, just.. Hardly now I want to share.. See how we human have become.. So, with social media, it’s like additional field nowadays. Like, business – so many fields and branches. In one field, it has so many sub-field, just, many.

Career path, they say. As an artist.. Of course I love it. At the same time, I’m not at all..

It’s what we have learned and to know, what we want to be, since school. To continue study, get certificate, and build career?. Finished school and business?. Or just do whatever that can make money, like non stop..?. Little that we know, as time goes, things change a lot. And more and more, number of people stress and pressure, anxiety and depression hits hard since last century.. Just to make money.

Money – one of need, we can’t deny that. I can’t deny that. With money than we can have food. But, it’s more than just to have money to buy, pay, and sell. Any, to be clear. Shelter, clothes, medical supplies, to go to school, and even, to make business as to make money, by doing what we love as a career or business, still need – money. It’s the reality of life, now. Actually, for a long time ago. We know that, right.. But, because of this, sometimes and some people started to feel like “what I want in life?”. With struggle come and go, ups and downs, fall and get back up, truths is, it’s open our eyes.

“What I want in life?” – a question that at least once in our lives time, we will ask to ourselves. It’s become our step to ourselves on what we want to do.. I think, I could say. So.. After sometimes, since pandemic started last year.. Well.. I realize, on this matter.

What I learned, since grew up, and grow old, doing what I do now, love it, paper to paper to another.. But with what happened right now, it’s tough.. The art scene itself effected really bad, not only the artists, but all that involves.

It’s give me the effects too. But I know that, there’s nothing much I can do. I only can just do my artworks. But what I want at the same time?.

“Don’t want any stress or pressure. Just do my artworks. No more chasing submission. Enjoy the process, let go if can’t catch up. If not feeling it, leave. Watch Netflix, drama, movies. Do gardening, play with soil. Cooking time, enjoy the moment. Smell and have a taste. Have a mug of Milo. Eat well but have some donuts or pizza. Just, being at home and do my things..”

I have no judgment on women that want to become full time housewife, it’s a good thing, since house chores is a never ending things in our lives to deal with. Of course, it’s not a gender role thing, men in this too, together. But just talking about “women that choose to be”. Respect for those choose it. If a woman or person want to, I think no need to tell them to go out to make money, unless they want to do so. And also if it’s other way around. Both good and have reasons why. We don’t know their situation at the end..

But, as an artist, I just wanted to do show. If I’m feeling stuck between the process and love it at the same time, I’ll go outside, gardening, or bake some biscuits or cake.. A simple life, they said?

It’s not bad, isn’t it..?

This is just mine, totally. Please do respect if you know whoever that choose a different kind of vibes in life, simple or whatever. It’s a choice of a person who deal with something we don’t know somehow.. I hope, things gonna be alright. With what I’m currently working on..

Some Thoughts: Thoughts 1

It’s been a long time since last one.

I’ve been going through some kind of phase, which I feel and don’t know, at the same time – is it a phase as human, and each of individuals in this world will go through?

It’s, really tough to even write.

Moreover, when it comes to personally private (which I called, where involved other people or family). I’ve said it before, I wouldn’t go with details of details about things that I will post or write. I believe many and every one will go through in life..

Every one has their own struggle. A point where, things happen, and will open up views, of every day thought and opinions to be different than what self agree. View in every aspect of life, daily basis, work and job, to basic needs of human and relationships. Not only on self, but towards other people that close and around a person’s. Not only at home, but in a work place to where we hangout with family and friends..

So, what’s your moment, things that happened, where you think and consider it as a.. Turning point in life?

I’ll continue on this about later on. Since it’s Ramadan, I need a nap. Since it’s already after dawn..

Some Talk: After Rain

It’s afternoon, sunny and bright. Loving the sunlight, that’s yellow..

After awhile, sky slowly block by cloud. Grayish cloud, we know what’s that going to be.. And just like that, rain pour. I love rain when it’s raining without thunder.. Water flow from our home’s guther.. Although some already broken. Water pour like it’s mini waterfall.. But there’s moment when it’s feel something that, feel so fresh yet you feel like “I just gonna relax for awhile”.. Like that.

My favorite view
Cloud after rain

After for awhile, rain stop.

And that’s the view. That’s the moment that I feel like I fall in love for many times.

It’s such a lovely moment. At evening, where it’s feel like no burden, if you know what I mean. It’s feel everything that makes your head spinning slowly go away, and make you fee like there’s hope in everything that people argue or what issues, like that. Like what happen right now – pandemic. There’s a day, and that day will come, all these will go away..

So, stay at home, don’t hoping it will go this near time, but hoping this will be gone soon and the day will come too. Insha Allah..

Some Talk: Lately Busyness

It’s been awhile, no, it’s been really long time, since my last post.

Hey guys, I hope you all well.

Few months since last one, I was actually, and still busy bee. With my artworks, daily basis, and, new things – big brother moving back with us. I have to do few extra stuff, if look into my schedule in my head, many.. And sometimes, I myself couldn’t keep up with it….. Give me headache lol.

But it’s because I don’t want to let go if I know I can’t, which I think I must. Because daily basis in our life, in reality, won’t finish. So, I just go with the flow. If I can’t make it, it’s totally fine, I told myself.. Not easy tho. But today, many also have practice, letting go if they can’t make it. Easy example, after few months, today I can and feel to write in here. Plus it’s International Women’s Day – to all women out there, and to me, this day it’s also about men doing what women do. We all human by the end of the day..

Back to the title. I’ve been busy as me and my parent plan on to clear out stuff we don’t use, and make things better at least. So I think on recycle stuff too, but again, with what important thing that first thing first, I end up not really doing it.. It’s frustrating you know. But I said, let’s take this slow, you don’t wanna stress up yourself by the end. So yea, I give myself time – to play game (Uncharted series and Kingdom Hearts 3, most of time, repeat and repeat, Uncharted is the best game!), to cook for meal, doing outdoor activities, and some other, and clean up big brother’s house (room). Lots to do in this one space actually…

So I hope I can set it all within this week, so lovely big brother can start staying here. And I can start taking out stuff from my home studio area and make some nest-like feel for my studio. Because I can’t put a door so.. Uh.. You know, make a wall fence..?. I plan for it soon, but I can’t wait to decorate my studio, with paper lantern, cardboard stars, maybe.. (?). So many things to do as before April come…

So yeah, this busyness just not stop in our life, but take it slow, one step at a time, and we will make it.. Don’t stress up ourselves is a must!.


Some Talk: Feeling In Blogging

Midnight here and I messed up my sleep schedule..

I went to few places, yesterday, since it’s midnight now. I plan to write about it but I’m focusing on my artwork until 3am.. Obviously, that’s what usually happens.. So guess I’ll write it tomorrow, or say, today?. When sun appear.

This is just an old photo.. I love scenery. It’s give some feeling that hardly ever for me to describe. Same as when I’m blogging, or writing to post on blog.

I’ve been like, on off with blogging. Even before the old one I deleted on, I just had a feeling of excitement to write, to design the theme, and layout, but there was like mixed feelings about it, where – it goes up high, then slowly run down the hill – kind of feeling. Maybe it still there but I try to keep on blogging. So that the feeling won’t repeat in near future.

But why I still do it?. Here’s a bit about it, as I said, I’m not going to specifically details about whatever I’m posting here. I hope you guys understand it and respect..

So why?. When I’m blogging, writing – while doing so, in the moment at it, I feel a calm. Like, serenity?. If that’s the word. At the moment of writing, I do feel like, experimenting or should I say, expressing my whatever I want to say. Although it’s not really like that. But yes, I feel like better, calm, peace, like – let out all negative, messy energy, in healthy way. Some other reason, I feel enjoy within time I’m blogging my messy, unattractive stuff (haha..). But I just do it. At the same time it’s part of my, where, how I practice my English. This one reason is very in the beginning when I started to blogging.

Plus, knowing now, I feel like it’s great. It’s great like how it opens to many bloggers and writers out there. But of course also, since I know few friends, artist friend that also a blogger. While doing art and explore, both worlds. But it’s not open like, so I’ll try to keep it up. I think.. Overall, blogging, writing, give me some good and positive kind of feeling. Even though in this world, within it, now days, so many chaos.. It just give the feeling of rain pouring, hitting the ground, while blogging, warm Milo in mug, and look at the rain, releasing a positive smell from the soil and grass – make me feel like there’s place to stay. To feel good, to call home.. To spread good vibes. It’s a great feeling.